I don't really have much faith in doctors; my mother is one, so I'm acutely aware of how little they know about anything. Especially things which cannot be seen or prodded. Ultimately what 'they' say is AS today might be seen as quaintly extreme eccentricity tomorrow or an evil invisible mind-eating cancer which people should zap on sight next week, so I prefer to judge people by their own merits and my own rules.
I suppose it annoyed/jarred/shocked me that this person (embarrassingly, I don't actually remember who it was, although I barely know anyone so have a fairly good idea) expected me to react differently to someone due to a fairly arbitrary label. I am certain that their intentions were good, and I am the kind of person who is often cast as the Evil Villain type because of the way I communicate, so they were trying to protect you based on their superficial estimation of how I Should Be Spoken To. As it happened, we had started off on a very bad foot, but once you talked to me in a normal way [online] I was able to judge the real you and found you were a decent chap after all. I find it's so much simpler just communicating directly instead of relying on labels, recommendations and sympathy as social glue :)
It's weird, because in my mental model I have married introversion to unsociable personality types, but I have met a few introverts now (including you, of course) who crave and thrive upon social interaction in spite of their natural 'build'. It must be cruel to want it and not be able to enjoy it without putting in so much extra work. In my case, I am very much happiest with my own company, so I've been trying to understand this other flavour of introvert for a long time with some difficulty. When I speak with one of my friends who is similarly caught between wanting friends and suffering being around "noisy" social situations, I find it hard to understand why he compromises so much of himself to be part of this unfairly skewed world because my own agenda is so different. It is good reinforcement to see more introverted socialisers around. Maybe I'll come to understand the perspective one day if I hear enough about how it all fits together from various people!
It's tricky for me to accept without understanding, and I'm not sensitive enough to understand unless people show their true selves, so I end up just ignoring most of humanity where possible to avoid getting caught up on masks and expectations and rituals and other nonsense. But when someone talks to me frankly and there's no mess, it's most refreshing. Have to keep that kind of person around.
Good luck with your thesis, anyway! I imagine that it will feel so good when you have it behind you (says someone who has never done anything like that in her life). Catching up sounds interesting, though I'm rather averse to real world things. Coaxing me through my more sensible other half is usually the only way to make me leave the hermit cave.
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Date: 2010-10-20 09:57 pm (UTC)I suppose it annoyed/jarred/shocked me that this person (embarrassingly, I don't actually remember who it was, although I barely know anyone so have a fairly good idea) expected me to react differently to someone due to a fairly arbitrary label. I am certain that their intentions were good, and I am the kind of person who is often cast as the Evil Villain type because of the way I communicate, so they were trying to protect you based on their superficial estimation of how I Should Be Spoken To. As it happened, we had started off on a very bad foot, but once you talked to me in a normal way [online] I was able to judge the real you and found you were a decent chap after all. I find it's so much simpler just communicating directly instead of relying on labels, recommendations and sympathy as social glue :)
It's weird, because in my mental model I have married introversion to unsociable personality types, but I have met a few introverts now (including you, of course) who crave and thrive upon social interaction in spite of their natural 'build'. It must be cruel to want it and not be able to enjoy it without putting in so much extra work. In my case, I am very much happiest with my own company, so I've been trying to understand this other flavour of introvert for a long time with some difficulty. When I speak with one of my friends who is similarly caught between wanting friends and suffering being around "noisy" social situations, I find it hard to understand why he compromises so much of himself to be part of this unfairly skewed world because my own agenda is so different. It is good reinforcement to see more introverted socialisers around. Maybe I'll come to understand the perspective one day if I hear enough about how it all fits together from various people!
It's tricky for me to accept without understanding, and I'm not sensitive enough to understand unless people show their true selves, so I end up just ignoring most of humanity where possible to avoid getting caught up on masks and expectations and rituals and other nonsense. But when someone talks to me frankly and there's no mess, it's most refreshing. Have to keep that kind of person around.
Good luck with your thesis, anyway! I imagine that it will feel so good when you have it behind you (says someone who has never done anything like that in her life). Catching up sounds interesting, though I'm rather averse to real world things. Coaxing me through my more sensible other half is usually the only way to make me leave the hermit cave.