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"Moving away from close relationships is always difficult; there is a familiarity and pattern that is at once joyful and comforting. But when it becomes clear that it will not endure, it is better to cause a short period of discomfort and acknowledge the undesired truth, than conceal that realisation and endure a downward spiral that could end in a burst of bitterness and recrimination. It is painful to do this.
But it would be a capital mistake to believe that the relationship has not been good for both of us; there has been support, and joy, and community, and trust. There are many moments that will be cherished forever, and even once we part, a dim wonder will linger, asking whether the joy would have continued were this the path not taken. Such as it is always between the best of friends; if it were easy, it would never have happened.
We will now move on, both enriched, hopefully to fine and wonderful things. Though we will be apart, we will remain fast friends -- and I hope that you prosper, to continue on to be the good in the world, and that the new relationships you forge will be warm, fruitful, and long-lasting."
After about 3hrs, I passed my PhD viva today. :-)
I've got some things to tidy up (a fair chunk of which I knew about already!) -- but I've got oodles of time (3 months) to make those changes and submit the finished version.
Haven't planned anything yet today for celebration; I imagine that a trip to the pub or similar will occur at some point this evening..
I've got some things to tidy up (a fair chunk of which I knew about already!) -- but I've got oodles of time (3 months) to make those changes and submit the finished version.
Haven't planned anything yet today for celebration; I imagine that a trip to the pub or similar will occur at some point this evening..
PSA: Teminology: "man-flu"
Nov. 17th, 2010 08:35 pmThere is no such thing as 'man-flu'.
There are colds. These are oftentimes minor, and you can usually get on with things while sniffling away.
Sometimes, they get nastier. This does genuinely mean you should take time off to recover, and that you're worthy of rest and sympathy. This is not the same thing as flu.
Flu is when you're really out of action. A fever threatening to melt lead, an inability to sensibly control your own body temperature without constantly adding / stripping layers, and aches and pains that make you feel alive in a truly awful way.
Compare and contrast: nasty cold, flu of death.
Calling a nasty cold 'flu' (or even "man-flu") is dishonest. Don't do that.
Rant on pet-hate subject ends.
There are colds. These are oftentimes minor, and you can usually get on with things while sniffling away.
Sometimes, they get nastier. This does genuinely mean you should take time off to recover, and that you're worthy of rest and sympathy. This is not the same thing as flu.
Flu is when you're really out of action. A fever threatening to melt lead, an inability to sensibly control your own body temperature without constantly adding / stripping layers, and aches and pains that make you feel alive in a truly awful way.
Compare and contrast: nasty cold, flu of death.
Calling a nasty cold 'flu' (or even "man-flu") is dishonest. Don't do that.
Rant on pet-hate subject ends.
Presented for your amusement:
- - Sends the best messages evar.
- - Putting up with tedium from your officemate.
- - head pain.
- - People who grew up in Cape Bill.
- - To make use of something to a degree that is unreasonable.
- - To make available while drunk; to make available in excessive detail.
- - One hundredth of a suffi.
- - Consistently stupid.
- - Convince someone to part with their money.
- - A person in high standing, despite physical defects.
- - A stalwart, portable canopy.
- - A tiny dogflower.
Also, while I appreciate my spell-checker's suggestions, I don't think I'll be replacing the term botnets with bonnets.
This interview with Ari Ne'eman was good reading on the subject of providing support for people with Autism-spectrum conditions. For a chap of 22 years, he's surprisingly articulate, and rather good at explaining things in ways that my brain can synthesize rapidly.
In particular, I read the line, There are a lot of social rules that we don’t understand, and tremendous consequences inflicted on us for violating them, and nodded knowingly.
The reference to Temple Grandin was also great -- I'd stumbled across her book, Animals in Translation, a few years ago, and devoured it. It was fascinating, and helped me understand myself.
This is because I have traits in common with some people on the Autism spectrum: I think visually; I'm sensitive to bright lights, and sound, and -- as anyone who's ever tickled me -- probably touch, too. I have a highly systemizing mind. I was generally poor at handling social interaction -- I understood computers better than people. Bullying in school was a problem.
Somehow, somewhere along the way -- perhaps through brute force trial and error -- I've developed a better model of people, meaning that I'm now typically as good as most neurotypical people at understanding and inferring other people's mental state. I have social skills!
But they took a long time to develop -- towards the end of undergraduate degree and beyond -- meaning that I now feel that I missed out on a huge range of social opportunities I didn't understand.
I've never been diagnosed with an Autism-spectrum disorder, and thinking about the concept now, I'd be worried about acquiring that particular label. I wouldn't even call it a disorder; merely a specialization.
But it's only just occurred to me after all the discussions here that I can reasonably describe myself as 'not neurotypical', too.
In particular, I read the line, There are a lot of social rules that we don’t understand, and tremendous consequences inflicted on us for violating them, and nodded knowingly.
The reference to Temple Grandin was also great -- I'd stumbled across her book, Animals in Translation, a few years ago, and devoured it. It was fascinating, and helped me understand myself.
This is because I have traits in common with some people on the Autism spectrum: I think visually; I'm sensitive to bright lights, and sound, and -- as anyone who's ever tickled me -- probably touch, too. I have a highly systemizing mind. I was generally poor at handling social interaction -- I understood computers better than people. Bullying in school was a problem.
Somehow, somewhere along the way -- perhaps through brute force trial and error -- I've developed a better model of people, meaning that I'm now typically as good as most neurotypical people at understanding and inferring other people's mental state. I have social skills!
But they took a long time to develop -- towards the end of undergraduate degree and beyond -- meaning that I now feel that I missed out on a huge range of social opportunities I didn't understand.
I've never been diagnosed with an Autism-spectrum disorder, and thinking about the concept now, I'd be worried about acquiring that particular label. I wouldn't even call it a disorder; merely a specialization.
But it's only just occurred to me after all the discussions here that I can reasonably describe myself as 'not neurotypical', too.
- Do my impersonation of "Q" and 007 discussing ejector seats while the instructor is
in the carwithin earshot. - Have a bumper sticker on the back of the car that reads,
The Car In Front Is A Crumple Zone - Have any music playing in the vehicle, including but not limited to:
- "Back to the Future"
- "The Race" by Yello
- "I'm Not Driving Anymore" by Rob Dougan
- Anything from the Jason Bourne films.
- Wear my navy jumper with epaulettes in an effort to intimidate the other drivers.
- Start discussing advisory locking, critical sections and race hazards whilst proceeding through junctions at speed.
- Discuss interesting consequences of Newtonian physics of any kind.
- Leave an upside-down blue pint-glass conspicuously on the dashboard.
- Keep cannisters of caltrops in the glove-compartment.
- Install radar emitters configured to generate continuous pulses to screw up speed guns.
From: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7523144.stm:
Conservative leader David Cameron says his bicycle was stolen after he left it locked outside a supermarket while he shopped near his home in west London.
He was at a Tesco branch on Portobello Road when the bike - which he joked was "an old friend" - disappeared.
"Someone must have picked it up and walked off with it," he said.
[...]Tom Bogdanovich of the London Cycling Campaign said he hoped the theft would not discourage Mr Cameron from using his bike.
